BAGIAN III (SELESAI)
This article has been translated from the original language (Indonesian) into English.
I started searching in a different way. I distanced myself from the crowds and began to seek peace in silence. I tried praying, volunteering as a humanitarian, meditating, reading spiritual books, and doing self-reflection. I began to learn about simplicity, about letting go of endless desires, about accepting myself and the world with all its limitations. However, this journey was not always easy. There were many moments where I felt like I was back at square one confused, directionless, anxious, and full of doubts. However, I kept going, little by little.
There were times when I felt like I was travelling an infinitely long journey. A few times, I feel like I’ve found the answer, only to doubt and get lost again. However, every time that happened, I started to learn not to be so hard on myself. I began to understand that this journey is not about seeking definitive and complete answers, but about accepting the uncertainty and feeling peace in the journey itself. I learnt that the search is part of the process, and that finding inner peace doesn’t always come from getting answers, but from accepting things as they are.
Over time, I began to find glimmers of peace within myself. I learnt to love and accept myself, with all my imperfections and weaknesses. I realised that all this time, I didn’t need to look for ‘something’ outside of myself. The answers I sought were always within myself in acceptance, in gratitude, in the ability to live with full awareness and love.
Now, I know that this journey never really ends. Every day is a new step, every moment is part of a deeper search. I may never find definitive answers about life, but I’m starting to feel that it doesn’t matter. What matters is how I live this life mindfully, with an open heart, and with acceptance of everything that exists be it happiness or sadness, success or failure. The search that began when I was a child eventually led to the conclusion that
‘Life is a journey of mystery, and sometimes, we don’t need to know all the answers. All we need to do is accept ourselves, live with gratitude, and love this journey for what it is’
